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The Relationship Thread - That Thread About Relationships

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Had it happen to me a couple of times
Could not fault the other person
Was entangled with care taking and was probably absentee in the relationship without realizing it

These are blanket statements folks are making on peoples trustworthiness without factoring in circumstance
Things may have been different in my case if my care taking duties were not so extensive
or it may not have mattered at all
No way to know but it should not be a death sentence to somebody's reputation
Sad to hear and sounds like you're blaming yourself for someone else's inability to communicate.
Unless that person said dick me down or I am out it is 100% on them and if they did it ain't cheating I would think........that's more like the end.
 
Sad to hear and sounds like you're blaming yourself for someone else's inability to communicate.
Unless that person said dick me down or I am out it is 100% on them and if they did it ain't cheating I would think........that's more like the end.

Not blaming myself
As stated above circumstance played a major role
I have no social skills so it was difficult for me to understand why it was happening
Basically I tell women if you are going to sleep with other people be open about it so I can bug out
Honestly, I can't believe marriage is still an institution since the inception of tinder
Order up any number of STDs

After a break up I had a girl flip out on me because I went on a date
Go figure
 
So, made a quick trip through campus.

Firstly, lady friend keeps a glaring lookout for that girl who commented on the state of my car the other day. I guess that girl was fllirting with me. To be fair, she was quite attractive and said what she said right in front of lady friend. :mental:

So, in the time that it took me to go to the Post Office - forgot it was Sunday - and visit the gas station, lady friend managed to eat three scoops of ice cream. And she'll not gain an ounce. She has the metabolism of a hummingbird.

And she found time to cross the other street to visit her friends who run the cosmetologist and tattoo place.

How do these young people do so much so quickly?

Now, admittedly the gas station is the university gas station and is cashiered only by college girls. Flirtatious by nature. It's college. I'm not exactly bothered by it.

And I ::ahem:: may have spent a little too much time talking to one of them. No one would blame me - she's fucking crazy hot and always goes out of her way to talk to me. And then I turn around and there is lady friend. Arms crossed. Glaring at me. You know the type of glare.

Silent ride home. And then, lol, she says, "Back rub. NOW!"

And I guess I have to make her a frittata tonight.
 
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So, dog house. Again. Well I was for a while.

So the cutie who works at the grocery store usually is running a register. Today she was on stock duty.

So I turn down an aisle and run smack into her. And she strikes up a perfectly pleasant conversation.

And like most women, lady friend can sense when another girl is talking to her man.

I see her turn down the other end of the aisle. Oh shit. She marches toward me and grabs my arm and takes me away. Followed by silent treatment.

Then we get to the car, and the moment our doors shut, she gets right up in my face. "I don't want you talking to that girl ever again. Do you understand?"

I tell her that I ran into her and she was just being polite.

"Are you actually this stupid?! Did you not see the way she was standing?! She had her butt sticking out and her chest right in your face and she tucked her hair behind her ear! Do you really not know what that means? And I don't want you talking to that gas station girl who is always showing you her stupid cleavage or that campus girl either!. In fact I'm sick of having to watch girls check you out! You don't notice it because you're a guy and you're all internal but you give off this English professor vibe and girls love it. Even the teenage girls and the cougars and I'm sick of it!"

"That's absurd. And campus girl? You mean the girl who said one sentence to me to make her friends laugh? When would I ever speak to her?"

"You have a very recognizable car! Plus your beard and sunglasses and punk music. Maybe one day she'll see you and whistle you over and ask for a ride somewhere. She seemed like the type!"

"Okay, now you're being ridiculous. Remember when I held a bucket under your mouth while you puked your guts out and I had to endure the smell of your vomit? Do you think a guy does that if he doesn't love his girl?"

Whoops. Let the L-word fly. It just popped out.

"You ... love me?"

So she's been clutching at me and clinging to me since we got home. And now she's actually making dinner - grilled cheese and tomato sandwiches plus potato chips. :rofl:

She cannot cook. I had to show her how to turn the stove on lol. I've got the fire extuingsher ready.
 
So, dog house. Again. Well I was for a while.

So the cutie who works at the grocery store usually is running a register. Today she was on stock duty.

So I turn down an aisle and run smack into her. And she strikes up a perfectly pleasant conversation.

And like most women, lady friend can sense when another girl is talking to her man.

I see her turn down the other end of the aisle. Oh shit. She marches toward me and grabs my arm and takes me away. Followed by silent treatment.

Then we get to the car, and the moment our doors shut, she gets right up in my face. "I don't want you talking to that girl ever again. Do you understand?"

I tell her that I ran into her and she was just being polite.

"Are you actually this stupid?! Did you not see the way she was standing?! She had her butt sticking out and her chest right in your face and she tucked her hair behind her ear! Do you really not know what that means? And I don't want you talking to that gas station girl who is always showing you her stupid cleavage or that campus girl either!. In fact I'm sick of having to watch girls check you out! You don't notice it because you're a guy and you're all internal but you give off this English professor vibe and girls love it. Even the teenage girls and the cougars and I'm sick of it!"

"That's absurd. And campus girl? You mean the girl who said one sentence to me to make her friends laugh? When would I ever speak to her?"

"You have a very recognizable car! Plus your beard and sunglasses and punk music. Maybe one day she'll see you and whistle you over and ask for a ride somewhere. She seemed like the type!"

"Okay, now you're being ridiculous. Remember when I held a bucket under your mouth while you puked your guts out and I had to endure the smell of your vomit? Do you think a guy does that if he doesn't love his girl?"

Whoops. Let the L-word fly. It just popped out.

"You ... love me?"

So she's been clutching at me and clinging to me since we got home. And now she's actually making dinner - grilled cheese and tomato sandwiches plus potato chips. :rofl:

She cannot cook. I had to show her how to turn the stove on lol. I've got the fire extuingsher ready.
Your lady friend is brilliant :thumbsup:
 
So the saga continues.

So we run to the gas station because lady friend needs her damn mango and pomegranate juice and ice cream.

And she is ridiculously stoned. She's still learning her limits. And she is the girl type of stoned that only women can attain. There is a huge difference between boy stoned and girl stoned.

So she decides it's a good idea to quote that Will Ferrell Robert Goulet sketch. She sings out loud enough for everyone to hear quite easily, "Da dee da dee dee da dee dee dabba doo! Who let those little mutts goooooooo! Yeaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh. Goulet!"

Sigh. And in her state, she found herself to be the funniest person in the world. And she starts having one of her laugh attacks.

When a girl starts having a laugh attack, yeah, good luck trying to stop that. You just have to let it burn until it's over.

And yes, it was funny, but she ends up sitting on the floor cackling like a cracked-out psycho.

So I had to lift her up, help her to the car and lay her down in the backseat. And she continued laughing the whole way home. And I drive with the windows down because the A/C doesn't work. So there are these crazy girl laughs coming from my car but the people on campus can only see me. I received many weird looks.

It was truly embarassing. Now every time I'm at the station the employess will think, "Oh there's that guy with the crazy ass girlfriend."

Sigh.
 
So the saga continues.

So we run to the gas station because lady friend needs her damn mango and pomegranate juice and ice cream.

And she is ridiculously stoned. She's still learning her limits. And she is the girl type of stoned that only women can attain. There is a huge difference between boy stoned and girl stoned.

So she decides it's a good idea to quote that Will Ferrell Robert Goulet sketch. She sings out loud enough for everyone to hear quite easily, "Da dee da dee dee da dee dee dabba doo! Who let those little mutts goooooooo! Yeaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh. Goulet!"

Sigh. And in her state, she found herself to be the funniest person in the world. And she starts having one of her laugh attacks.

When a girl starts having a laugh attack, yeah, good luck trying to stop that. You just have to let it burn until it's over.

And yes, it was funny, but she ends up sitting on the floor cackling like a cracked-out psycho.

So I had to lift her up, help her to the car and lay her down in the backseat. And she continued laughing the whole way home. And I drive with the windows down because the A/C doesn't work. So there are these crazy girl laughs coming from my car but the people on campus can only see me. I received many weird looks.

It was truly embarassing. Now every time I'm at the station the employess will think, "Oh there's that guy with the crazy ass girlfriend."

Sigh.

Does not matter what other people think
As long as you two are happy, F the world
 
So, for one full hour every night, lady friend and I shut down all social media and turn off the TV and drink our tea and have an actual conversation with no distractions.

So the topic of race came up.

She's the type of young person who thinks it's perfectly fine to discuss race as long as it's respectful and honest and not too serious. A refreshing change. Most of the young people around here immediately label you a racist if you bring up the topic. That's so fucking stupid.

As I've mentioned, I am Mr. Pasty White Ass White Guy. She is of mixed race. So we've been talking about the differences we have had growing up and different life experiences.

One thing we looked at that was interesting was the different places we've lived. We did a little research, looked up some numbers and we saw that of all the different places I've lived in this country, the population was predominantly white or fully white. That was not a conscious decision and I never would have noticed it. And she is the same way - everywhere she has lived, the white population was minimal until Western Rural North Carolina.

So we started talking about human nature - and how many, perhaps most, simply feel more comfortable around their same race because it makes them feel "safer." Yeah, crunch some numbers and you'll see that's total bullshit, but it's what people do.

We continued the discussion and admitted we didn't know a whole lot about each other's races. In fact, I realized that when people used to call me the whitest white guy they ever met - which I used to shrug off and not take seriously - actually has a whole lot of truth to it. I've been living under a white guy "umbrella" pretty much my whole life. And I have much to learn and experience.

But it cuts both ways. One of the first things she said to me when we were in the hospital was, and maybe not phrased the most politically correctly, "Yeah, I don't really know shit about all you white people. Y'all seem totally uptight." :rofl:

So we've been introducing each other to stuff we like. For example, she didn't know who Radiohead was. No idea.

"How do you not know who Radiohead is? How do you not know that?"

"I don't know, dude, but I don't. But I know that name is on your hat. I didn't know it was a band."

To be fair, while Radiohead are a genius and iconic band ... their audience is mostly white.

Now she cranks them up in the car when it's her turn to play something. And I'm putting on Billie Holiday. Of course I knew who she was but I couldn't have told you the name of any of her songs other than Sinnerman.

So at the end of the discussion, my dumb ass says, "So you're sure you're okay with dating a plain old vanilla boring ass white guy?"

She looks at me like I'm a complete idiot. Then drops one of those youth wisdom bombs on me. "Why would I care what color you are? Why would you even ask me that?"

There is still racism running rampant in this country, but we're going to get there. Some of these young people are WAY ahead of the curve.

Amazing what a little exposure to other races can do to one's maturity level and understanding.
 
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Do
So, for one full hour every night, lady friend and I shut down all social media and turn off the TV and drink our tea and have an actual conversation with no distractions.

So the topic of race came up.

She's the type of young person who thinks it's perfectly fine to discuss race as long as it's respectful and honest and not too serious. A refreshing change. Most of the young people around here immediately label you a racist if you bring up the topic. That's so fucking stupid.

As I've mentioned, I am Mr. Pasty White Ass White Guy. She is of mixed race. So we've been talking about the differences we have had growing up and different life experiences.

One thing we looked at that was interesting was the different places we've lived. We did a little research, looked up some numbers and we saw that of all the different places I've lived in this country, the population was predominantly white or fully white. That was not a conscious decision and I never would have noticed it. And she is the same way - everywhere she has lived, the white population was minimal until Western Rural North Carolina.

So we started talking about human nature - and how many, perhaps most, simply feel more comfortable around their same race because it makes them feel "safer." Yeah, crunch some numbers and you'll see that's total bullshit, but it's what people do.

We continued the discussion and admitted we didn't know a whole lot about each other's races. In fact, I realized that when people used to call me the whitest white guy they ever met - which I used to shrug off and not take seriously - actually has a whole lot of truth to it. I've been living under a white guy "umbrella" pretty much my whole life. And I have much to learn and experience.

But it cuts both ways. One of the first things she said to me when we were in the hospital was, and maybe not phrased the most politically correctly, "Yeah, I don't really know shit about all you white people. Y'all seem totally uptight." :rofl:

So we've been introducing each other to stuff we like. For example, she didn't know who Radiohead was. No idea.

"How do you not know who Radiohead is? How do you not know that?"

"I don't know, dude, but I don't. But I know that name is on your hat. I didn't know it was a band."

To be fair, while Radiohead are a genius and iconic band ... their audience is mostly white.

Now she cranks them up in the car when it's her turn to play something. And I'm putting on Billie Holiday. Of course I knew who she was but I couldn't have told you the name of any of her songs other than Sinnerman.

So at the end of the discussion, my dumb ass says, "So you're sure you're okay with dating a plain old vanilla boring ass white guy?"

She looks at me like I'm a complete idiot. Then drops one of those youth wisdom bombs on me. "Why would I care what color you are? Why would you even ask me that?"

There is still racism running rampant in this country, but we're going to get there. Some of these young people are WAY ahead of the curve.

Amazing what a little exposure to other races can do to one's maturity level and understanding.
You seem confused by race and culture.........human race has many cultures.
 
This was a discussion about race specifically within the world of culture.

Yeah, I'm just going to go with it.

Believe it or not @arb I am not confused about the differences between race or culture or ethnicity. Although I appreicate your wildly unnecessary attempt to correct me for no reason.

By strict definition, I could not have gone with ethnicity, one could argue all Americans are the same ethnicity.. Or maybe if I didn't want to offend anyone I could have gone with culture, which is such a broad term that it's basically meaningless. But in America, and this is total bullshit, but it's still all about race.

I don't know where you reside, but in America, your race defines you. Everything about you.

Until you change it.

Yeah, that's bullshit and it fucking sucks, but that's the way it is.

The talk was about how race specifically controls the culture you stay in because that's just they way it is in America when you're a non-white color that's not white ass white.

I did not appreciate you accusing me of not knowing the difference of cultural or race or ethnicity between the terms.

If you re-read my post, I think you'll find it was all about the racial differeencies that are readily available in America and what it's like dealing with them.

It sucks soggy sweaty balls, but one's race still defines you in America. We are wildly behind the times.
 
This was a discussion about race specifically within the world of culture.

Yeah, I'm just going to go with it.

Believe it or not @arb I am not confused about the differences between race or culture or ethnicity. Although I appreicate your wildly unnecessary attempt to correct me for no reason.

By strict definition, I could not have gone with ethnicity, one could argue all Americans are the same ethnicity.. Or maybe if I didn't want to offend anyone I could have gone with culture, which is such a broad term that it's basically meaningless. But in America, and this is total bullshit, but it's still all about race.

I don't know where you reside, but in America, your race defines you. Everything about you.

Until you change it.

Yeah, that's bullshit and it fucking sucks, but that's the way it is.

The talk was about how race specifically controls the culture you stay in because that's just they way it is in America when you're a non-white color that's not white ass white.

I did not appreciate you accusing me of not knowing the difference of cultural or race or ethnicity between the terms.

If you re-read my post, I think you'll find it was all about the racial differeencies that are readily available in America and what it's like dealing with them.

It sucks soggy sweaty balls, but one's race still defines you in America. We are wildly behind the times.
I am mixed race and was born in the south and moved to the whitest place in said nation and you are wildly wrong.
You think that cuz that's what is taught on that campus the rest of America is nothing like that.
 
My personal experience is very different and I dont find this statement to be true, living in America myself

Oh. Wow. It hasn't been your personal experience. Well golly gee jiminy jillickers. It must be a myth. Me and the people I know must be living in a dream world.

I am mixed race and was born in the south and moved to the whitest place in said nation and you are wildly wrong.
You think that cuz that's what is taught on that campus the rest of America is nothing like that.

I wasn't taught anything on this campus and no one else was. I just live here. I am actually talking about firsthand experience. And if you believe there is not a strong wave of racism still running in this country, then I feel sorry for you.

There are "white power" meetings going on regularly around where I live. But they keep it lowkey. You know, among white people.

Do you think they openly advertise it?
 
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Oh. Wow. It hasn't been your personal experience. Well golly gee jiminy jillickers. It must be a myth. Me and the people I know must be living in a dream world.

To clarify, I wasn't implying racism is a myth... that would be ridiculous. All I was saying is that in my experience, the overwhelming majority of people I've come across are not defined by race, but they are defined (and judged) by their character and actions. As it should be.

I dont think you and yours are living in a dream world, I'm sure your experiences are valid. What you described in your post did sound more like cultural differences to me though. Not being aware of one's culture is very different than thinking another human being is truly beneath you just because they are of a different race.

I'm also not denying racism exists - of course it does. There will always be racist people, same way there will always be sexist people, homophobic people, murderers, racists, take your pick. I just dont believe the statement "one's race still defines you in America."

There are "white power" meetings going on regularly around where I live. But they keep it lowkey. You know, among white people.

Whites arent the only racists either... pick any race, you will find pockets of racism in there somewhere.
 
This post breaks the 'be nice' section of our rules. A warning point has been issued.
Can we go back to vomit stories?

Fine by me. I just don't like people getting on their high horse and "correcting" me for no reason. None of this would have happened if they had just kept their mouth shut and not gotten into an issue of semantics.

So this is the last post I'll be making on this fucking forum.

In case you missed it:

THE DISCUSSION WAS ABOUT RACE WITHIN THE BROADER CONCEPT OF CULTURE.

If you can't understand that, do the world a favor, and go out to the woods and shoot yourself in the brain.

"Uh, dude, you know, there are like, different cultures out there, bro."

Yeah, I would have never known that without your education, @arb. Thanks for granting me a moment of your wisdom. I'll always remember it.



@BrianTL

Your post is pretentious, self-righteous and dangerously ignorantly anecdotal. What you posted is feel-goodery bullshit and you shoud be ashamed by it. But it'll get you a round of applause! Why don't next time you say, "I've got kids! Aren't kids great! Arent' they great!"

I would know because most of mine are too.

I have lived in 11 different states in the past 15 years in this country, with my home being in North Carolina, where hillbilly mountain man racism still is crazy off the charts. I have seen obvious racism in all of these states - even on the liberal West Coast.

I am quite observant. People are defined by their race. It's my job to observe the little things people do and write about it. Nearly everyone hesitates to have any dealings with someone of a different race, if you know how to look for the details. They don't give a shit about culture. They care about race.

I'm glad you're living in your happy little world.

And oh gosh! It's not only white people who are racist? I never would have known! Thanks for informing me.

It's called a fucking example.
 
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