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Lunacy Laughs, just the laughs please (and other internetz weirdness)

D

dorkus_molorkus

Active Member
Found something weird or hilarious on the internutz?
Well dont keep it to yourself!
Show me yours and I'll show you mine.

Here, I will go first.

This is what has made me giggle just today.



This dude musta been a legend!

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When I go, this is exactly what I want. EXACTLY



It was a tough day at the gym for Lakshit
There was some disagreement over who ate the last garlic naan.

aaaaaaaaaaaannnnnddddd I see everyone using their left hand!
eeeww!




Rule #1 always get the money first!
fool me once shame on you,
fool me twice.............

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and todays miracle has been brought to you by.......


Jesus.................
or voodoo. Im not sure which
 
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I see you've slipped your restraints again @dorkus_molorkus ?

My personal favorite moments haven't been from the netz... it was actually your admittance information.

For instance... the photo we took at admittance.. I knew your talents with basket weaving would come in handy!!

xZ86aup.jpg


But what made me realize you needed help was the video your family took.



I'm really going to have to have a chat with the night nurse about your getting out of your room....
 
@momofthegoons

I see your weird vid and raise you some of this.


Now if I had to guess, She is preparing for a first date. This is an explanation of how the last blind date went & what not to do on this particular date.

If the paramour in question plays his cards right he will have earned the right to mate.

However if he fucks up in any way, he will be eaten.
This much is clear.


I am grateful for the instructional video on just how to behave, its very considerate of you.

However I am having conflicting feelings on whether I should go or not.
Sure them titties are great, but to me she seems a bit fucking nuts.
Jeez, my maddoobula umblumgata ( medulla oblongata) is in danger.
Do I even need one of those? I dont recall ordering one from ebay?

Hey is that an adams apple?

Umm nope,my mistake........................ be right there baby


Citizen journalists from the 'Cholo Times' flee for their lives in the aftermath of a vehicle accident.

Allegedly, no one was hurt or eaten at the 'gulp and blow'
bwhahahaha! :risas3::risas3::risas3::risas3:

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Now this is NOT funny.
This is a Public Service Announcement

To the only guy in the world still playing pokemon go,
FFS watch where you are going!

Thats not an ultra rare green Rhinomite,
it the 357 to Mumbai.

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I think you lost that one young grasshopper.
Now skittle along before you get hurt.


Namaste
 
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So how're we all feeling today? I know how I feel. I feel......



Now dorkus... you knew we had to install cameras in your room, for your own safety, since you slipped out the other night. I must say that the performance art you did last night for us was.... well it was pretty amazing.



After discovering you in this state, the Night Nurse had to sedate you. And yet, you still managed to get out of your room and get outside. Thank goodness we found you near the front gates...



After viewing the footage, I found some disturbing behaviors and have called in Dr. Vinnie Boombatz for a consultation.

teBbvf5.jpg


They are now serving breakfast Mr. Molorkus. Go butter your bread.

Signed, Nurse Ratched
 
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*-------------------------------*
There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down he sneered at me and I thought, well that’s a little condescending.
*-------------------------------*
A teenage boy was delivering papers to an apartment house. While there, a stunning young woman came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing only a robe. The boy smiled at the young woman and she started up a conversation with him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.

After a few minutes of flirting, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming."

He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely. Now nude, she purred at him, "What would you say is my best feature?"

Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It has to be your ears." Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, "My ears? Look at these breasts; they are a full 38 inches and 100 percent natural. I work out every day and my ass is firm and solid. I have a 28 inch waist. Look at my skin, not a blemish anywhere. How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?"

Clearing his throat, he stammered, "Outside, when you said you heard someone coming...that was me."
 
Ima getting one of these just as soon as the ' make me a sammich' option is available.

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'G' spot? WTF is that? and more importantly should I care?



I think this guy is doing it wrong?
I saw some germans on the internet doing something similar, but very different.
for example I can still see his hands and forearms.

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Umm, Hi just checking its still locked?
yep it is, ok thank you bye
 
momofthegoons said:
I'm not even sure what to say about this... other than why is it that old men think they look good in a banana hammock?
Click to expand...

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FFS i dont know what party you went to, but BYO has achieved a whole new meaning of cum as you are.
i showed up dressed for success. it all went tits up & all of a sudden I farted, shit got weird.

thank fuck I had a helmet on.
 
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True Story!

Just received note from one of my service providers that I could receive $5 off bill per month if I sign up for autopay!

So, on my cell, forwarded the email to my wife (service is hers) and tried to send the following message...

"Need to set up autopay. We can do this together..."

However, since Satan had created the subroutines on my cell phone, auto correct changed it to....

"Need to set up autopsy. We can do this together..."

=========================================================================================

So, for the life of me, I couldn't figure out why my wife greeted me like this when I arrived home...

woman-pointing-gun.jpg


That was until she showed me the email I had sent!!! :roto2palm:
 
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