Lunacy Should EDA Write A Book About The Restaurant Industry?

[EveryDayAmnesiac]

My friends and fiancé have been telling me that I should. Especially since I've worked in so many lowball kitchens where I've seen the worst of the worst. Mice, rats, cockroaches, flies, three-month-old fryer oil, grills with mold, guys scratching their ass and balls and nose and then going back to work, chefs who cared more about the profit margin because they got a percentage of that instead of caring about the cleanliness of the kitchen.

You know what tends to happen in a kitchen? The owner wants Chef Ramsay level of clean. But they won't pay for it. So they kick the workers out 15 minutes after closing time. And they're passing the savings on to you!

My story would basically say that you need to learn to cook. Yeah, maybe it's not fun. Maybe it's a lot of work. Maybe you hate it. Welcome to planet fucking Earth.

So feel free to tell me to go fuck my pretentious butthole off. I could give two shits. Honesty is like, totally cool, bro.

20 years have I worked in that industry. Do you want to hear some stories?

 

[Tincandtoke]

My friends and fiancé have been telling me that I should. Especially since I've worked in so many lowball kitchens where I've seen the worst of the worst. Mice, rats, cockroaches, flies, three-month-old fryer oil, grills with mold, guys scratching their ass and balls and nose and then going back to work, chefs who cared more about the profit margin because they got a percentage of that instead of caring about the cleanliness of the kitchen.

You know what tends to happen in a kitchen? The owner wants Chef Ramsay level of clean. But they won't pay for it. So they kick the workers out 15 minutes after closing time. And they're passing the savings on to you!

My story would basically say that you need to learn to cook. Yeah, maybe it's not fun. Maybe it's a lot of work. Maybe you hate it. Welcome to planet fucking Earth.

So feel free to tell me to go fuck my pretentious butthole off. I could give two shits. Honesty is like, totally cool, bro.

20 years have I worked in that industry. Do you want to hear some stories?

I stopped ordering or going to restaurants some time ago
Employees have IG challenges to see what kind of awful things they can do
Buy, clean and cook your own food
Period

Spend an afternoon watching YouTube videos and you will never eat or order out again

 

[momofthegoons]

Ugh... I just had Mexican that was ordered in...

This all reminds me of many years back when we went to a Greek restaurant in downtown Detroit. During dinner my husband 'lost his appetite' and had the waiter take his dish. This was weird cause he can usually eat anyone under the table. Turns out he had maggots on his plate and didn't want to freak me out (or our guests). I think I would have had a different reaction... Just saying.

 

[Tincandtoke]

What is amazing is the crimes you can be charged with for doing things on IG
Manslaughter and attempted murder are among some of the charges
Do not eat in local shops employing local kids
Children working in an establishment is a big red flag
You are ingesting whatever awful thing they did to complete their challenge
It started about 15-20 years ago with the advent of social media

I know things have always gone on that were not healthy
Now employees are actively trying to hurt people for laughs

I cannot emphasize this more
Do not order take out or eat at a restaurant for the foreseeable future
The place I live has shitty regulation

Remember these kids monetize their accounts and are not held liable for the assaults they commit for content
Workplaces are props for folks on social media

 

[bulllee]

I have to chuckle, I've worked in Food service for 50 years , starting out washing dishes at 14. I've seen some things . I'm not to concerned with kids and IG, kids will always fuck around if not supervised. I'm more concerned with where my food is sourced and if it's safe to eat. Case in point salad greens and lettuce are notorious for E-coli transmission . I could go on about food integrity, and safety . Or why food doesn't taste like it use to. As for a book, Anthony Bourdain's already done Kitchen Confidential, if you haven't had a chance, read it. Very factual. Lot's of drug's in the kitchen . If I'm eating in a restaurant I'm not familiar with I go and checkout the bathroom. If the bathroom is dirty and unattended, then so is the kitchen and I leave.

 

[EveryDayAmnesiac]

Anthony Bourdain's already done Kitchen Confidential

This is the book I had to read and write a report on to get my first kitchen job from a classically trained Chef at a swanky Yacht Club. He was French and everything.

Great book. But could use some updating.

 

[Tincandtoke]

I went from bussing tables and working my way up to the grill by the ripe old age of 14 at pewter pot
To a year later working in dietary when Brigham& Women's hospital opened in 1979-1980 for full patient load
Both places were pretty clean and we never messed with peoples food unless they molested the serving staff
The hospital was a blast
This is in the days of cocaine and black beauties
We bought beauties in these large amber bottles from the pharmacy and sold them on the streets
Quick money
There were three hospitals merging into one and nobody kept control of the inventory
Just report an open door a few times a month and file a report with security
When inventory came up short, write it off
Helped that we had someone who was a pharmacy student
The hospital was in the middle of my neighborhood and everybody from the hood worked there
No entity would ever be stupid enough to do that again

 

[bulllee]

This is in the days of cocaine and black beauties

Don't forget the Quaaludes !

 

[Tincandtoke]

Don't forget the Quaaludes !

I just missed those
I had at one time a lemon 714 that I was too chicken shit to take

 

[Baron23]

If you were taking beauties and coke, Quaaludes was nothing to worry about, IMO. haha

Just my view, but I sort of think that if most people knew what they ingested just breathing dust and dirt they would have their mouth and nose sewn shut.

Oh hell, any good microscopic image of...say...your bedsheets and the mites there...would cause most people to try sleeping standing up

My approach is to simply not think about it and or the restaurant kitchen.

Life itself (including us) is messy, dirty, and always has been.

So no, I would not read a book about the underside of restaurant kitchens

 

[EveryDayAmnesiac]

Fair enough, @Baron23. I appreciate the honesty. Hard to come by these days. And when people are honest, they're considered a dick.

My only issue with your statement is that most people are ... what's the wording ... moronic shit balls who don't know their buttholes from their nasal passages. And they are PAYING people to serve them safe food. Maybe they shouldn't be. But COVID has taught us that people hate to cook, and they don't know how to cook, and they don't want to learn. I doubt that will change. Ever.

But information / knowledge is power!

It's a difficult question. No real good answer. Thank you for your input.

 

[Baron23]

And when people are honest, they're considered a dick.

hahaha...yeah, but in my case I really am a dick! LOL

 

[EveryDayAmnesiac]

So ... continuing my trek through this industry.

This is why I think someone needs to shut it all down.

As I've said, I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my months. It's not about money. It's not about a paycheck. It's about the fuckers who are still treating food workers like slaves.

So I interviewed at this shit ass fuck face place on the University campus run by Aramark. If you're unfamiliar with Aramark, look it up and try not to hurl.

First ... they're desperate for employees. But it will take them "10 business days" to do a background check.

"Well oh my garsh! I'm gonna have to shuffle my paperwork around! Even though I have no paper in my office. I'm gonna have to go clickity clackity and hit enter on my computer! Plus you seem smarter than me and you may expose my incompetence. Paperwork! There's so much paperwork. And like ... paper! You would be lucky to get this job!"

This is a business that serves shit out of a can while treating their employees like shit and you could very well be eating their factory farmed garbage.

The wages may have changed. The treatment hasn't. People in the food service industry get treated like garbage. You know what happens when you treat people that way? They come back to bite you in your self-righteous butthole that stinks as much as the next.

One thing I look for in these interviews is the mood of people working there. They're miserable. Do you actually want miserable people cooking your food? Do you just want to die? This food can kill people. And they rush it. Don't ever rush the person cooking your food unless you have a death wish.

To simply apply for this bullshit job, I had to go through 17 steps and initial each page. Because a million dollar business can't afford to be sued! But we can afford to feed you poison because we profit on your ignorance!

I've bloody had it.

The Chef working there was nice enough. Clearly had a family and was stuck in a bad place. The "Manager" was a dick and piece of shit who walked out halfway because I called him on his bullshit.

Cook your own food. I implore you.

And Aramark? Chortle my fucking balls, you phony fucks. You serve poison and you don't care and you can suck it. Suck my big ass pretentious balls.

 

[EveryDayAmnesiac]

Okay. So here. We. Go.

The guy who calls himself "Food Service Manager.''

I threw my 3 chef coats and my hat on the floor and counted them off one by one. With a one and a two and three by four! I then called him utterly useless because he couldn't make paychecks happen. He also had "Food Service Manager" printed on his Chef Coat.

I then let sous chef lady that I expected better of her. She said the same. Fair enough. She at least saved my Thermos. I guess she kind of liked me. It still had ice in it.

Anyway, I called this guy a useless piece of shit who should just kill himself and then I flung my shoes in his face. And I flung my clothes on the floor. Don't judge me. I was competing with Sierra. Oh and then I spit the alcohol in my mouth all around the floor. But just try looking up Aramark Just try it. Seriously try it. The book is coming.