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Lunacy The Beard Thread - The Thread About Beards


I guess I just wasn't made for these times.
So I've got one of those scraggly curly beards. Little bit of white under the chin.

It's the sort of beard that makes most people think, "Why the hell doesn't he trim that beard?"

Lady friend has been on me about it. Telling me she'll "make it look nice." But I've been working on this thing for years. I can't just erase that!

So, from my bottom lip, it measures about eight inches. :cool:

And I don't know why, but it's heaviest directly below my mouth and onto my neck. Whatever that means.

I don't want to shave it because it takes me about six months to even show stubble. I put a lot of anti-work into this.

I use local goat milk soap most days, and then some extra light shampoo and conditioner twice a week to try to keep it soft.

I just wish it weren't so curly and manic and untamed and spiraled and barbed wire like. The more I comb it, the worse it gets. :ugh:

Lady friend says she hates it, yet .... every night, there she is, running her hands through it.

So how do you bearded boys and bearded ladies maintain yours?
Okay, I cannot be the only dude here with a Wildman beard.

Don't make me show it. Because I'll do it. And you'll all be sorry. There is serious grey / white going on. It's not attractive. It's the middle-aged man sort of discoloration. It's on my head too. On the sides. "Salt and Pepper," they call it. When is the last time you saw an attractive dirty blonde with Salt and Pepper? Yeah. Never.
Wearing a mask makes me look like a 70's bikini line. That's all.

Yeah, I have the same problem. Plus I wear my Radiohead baseball cap and sunglasses whenever I go out. No matter how cloudy it is.

But even so, that cute girl at the grocery store always makes it clear she's looking at me. She's maybe 20?

If a girl doesn't want you to know she's looking at you, she will make sure she will not make eye contact with you. She totally looks at me. Like to an uncomfortable degree.

The last time I was there, she was leaving her shift and walking to her car as I was getting out of mine. And we stared at each other across the parking lot.

It's amazing how once you have a girlfriend and get seen with her how other women react.

I felt like a fucking badass. :cool:

Mayve it's just the gray in the beard. :myday:
My beard is the most cared for part of my body, although mine can look wild at times too

I use all stuff from here

I oil and balm every morning. I use the butter occasionally at night to condition/soften it, and the wax (rarely) if I ever need a stronger hold.

Amazon product ASIN B07QFWYBLF
Also my GF got me something similar to this as a stocking stuffer / joke last Christmas, it actually came with "beard ornaments" aka tiny little Christmas ornaments to hang from your beard... so I straightened and put the ornaments in my beard before the family Christmas party and she actually liked it. Go figure. So now I'll do it before special occasions and hit it with the balm to hold it

Edit: Trying to link a straightener but it doesn't seem to be working. If you google beard straightener itll pop up
Have a full head of hair and no greys
Have a beard that reaches the bottom of my chest at the longest part - two big grey stripes down either side starting at the mo

I have a very limited care routine
Best stuff is emu oil but can be hard to find
Next best thing I use is unrefined organic virgin coconut oil (the stuff you eat)
Run some through with fingers/hands after shower

Also this stuff is great in the shower
Really helps with the softness and fullness and helps stop any raggly looking beards
These two are one of the best things I found for beardiness




Either one is good
Papaya helps with straggly hair and makes softer

Watermelon helps softness and volume/fullness

A mask makes my beard all wavy and have curves/kinks in it where the mask goes around the chin
Its beard season and I'm growing it back for a while, that being said I make my own beard oil.
2oz. Avocado oil
1oz. Shea butter
1oz. Beeswax
1/4 tsp lemongrass essential oil
Splash of manderine essential oil
Splash of tee trea oil.
(Optional) made another small jar of same ingredients above, substituting the oils mentioned above with Sandalwood..the ladies definitely notice the enticing odor.
Heat in double boiler all except oils on low until all is mixed to a soupy consistency, now add in the essential oils and mix in well.
Very easy and affordable to prep.


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