A couple that was married for almost 50 years was lying in bed when the husband started doing something that really caught the wife by surprise. She felt his arm on her body as though he was about to give her a massage.
She didn’t say a word as he continued touching her, starting from the neck down her back. He then proceeded to her shoulders and the stomach.
The wife felt nice as her husband carried on moving his hand gently to the side of her body going down her buttock and then her inner calf.
Then he did it all over again but now to her other side of the body. It was one hell of a massage.
As he was slowly placing his hand near the most sensitive part of her body he suddenly stopped and turned around not saying a single word to his wife who at this point was quite excited. She was now even more surprised by his behavior and said: “Honey, that was really amazing, why did you stop?” to what the husband replied: “Because I found the remote control I was looking for”
While installing a new door, I found one of the hinges missing. I asked my wife if she would go to Home Depot to pick one up. She said she would.
While waiting for the Manager to finish serving another customer, her eye caught two beautiful bathroom faucets - one for the sink and one for the bath tub.
When the Manager was ready to help my wife, she asked, "How much are those faucets?"
The Manager replied, "They are gold plated faucets and very expensive! $5,000 each!" Mary exclaimed, "My goodness, they are really expensive - certainly out of my price range!" She then proceeded to describe the hinge I had sent her to buy.
The Manager said he had them in stock and their price was $3.49. He went to the backroom to get them.
From the backroom, the Manager yelled, "Ma'am, you wanna screw for the hinge?"
Mary shouted back, "No, but I will for the faucets."
This is why you just can't send a woman to Home Depot.