Sponsored by
VGoodiez 420EDC
  • Welcome to VaporAsylum! Please take a moment to read our RULES and introduce yourself here.
  • Need help navigating the forum? Find out how to use our features here.
  • Did you know we have lots of smilies for you to use?

Lunacy My Life Is Starting Over Again

Oh, dude. The Crow is one of the best soundtracks ever. And an incredible film and comic. It was my favorite film in junior high and high school. And I wasn't even goth.

I hear what you're saying. There does need to be more variety. We're working on that. The problem is me. This story is close to my heart so when someone, even Sierra, says it needs some different music, I turn into an asshole and get all defensive and say something stupid like, "You don't know what the fuck you're talking about!"

:shakehead:

But yes, you're absolutely right. It's being worked on. And as I said, this list is up to 1,000 songs now. I just tend to post my favorites. Mostly because I'm a narcissist.
Point taken.
 
So Jacob and our editor/cinematographer and I had time to do a little more practice shooting. It's stuff shot on an iPhone so not for public viewing. But we thought it would be a good way to encourage our crew that we are actually doing something. And just good practice - especially for me. We practiced a particularly difficult emotional shot and I passed out in the truck afterward and we couldn't shoot much more after that. It took everything out of me.

So the three of us edited together what we had practiced shot before with what we practiced shot recently.

Some of it, we left out. Some of it just didn't work. Sometimes you write something that seems great, but it simply doesn't play well on screen. It doesn't mean it's bad writing or bad filming or whatever else - it just doesn't work.

As a writer, it can be difficult to take that criticism. Sometimes, you gotta stick to your guns because you know you're right. Other times, you just have to realize it doesn't work and go back to the drawing board.

So we showed this little teaser trailer to the crew and some friends. Maybe 20 people. I had no idea what to expect. What happened was dead silence and most of the girls crying when it was over and the boys pretending like they didn't want to cry. So I guess we did something right. Sierra was crying most of all.

We took Sierra's advice and used "What It Takes." It says a lot without really saying much at all.



One issue I'm having trouble with is the ending. Now, it's been agreed upon that the Narrator leaves his ex's garage in an angry and final meltdown. And we all agree there should be an epilogue scene.

My original plan was for The Narrator to be a bloody mess on his dirty floor mattress in his shithole apartment in the same way he found Audrey. I still think that's the way it should be, but when everyone tells you that shit is creepy and dark and weird, and adds nothing to the story, you have to think twice.

Now, a story needs closure. I'm not writing one of those open-ended stories exactly - I find that to be gimmicky and lazy writing.

As it is now, after The Narrator storms out of his ex's garage, the entire final day he's been planning for years has gone off the rails and didn't work and he's simply accepted that he's a failure, or a good kid gone wrong, or a failed experiment. Audrey pulls up in her shitty old Pinto she drove in high school, with all the same teenager bumper stickers. The Narrator stares at the car for a while and then gets in.

It's a brief scene. I don't think it should be drawn out. So ...

Audrey: Are you ready?

The Narrator: (In tears) Yeah.

Audrey: Are you forgetting anything?

The Narrator: No. I don't think so.

Keep in mind, this is called The Every Day Amnesiac.

Audrey: Okay. Let's just go then.



Then they drive off into the night. Start credits.


Yeah. It needs work. It's almost like the ending of Grease. Or Repo Man. It's hard to write closure on a personal story of which you've never experienced closure.

The epilogue shot after the main credits is The Narrator, on his mattress. You can't tell if it's past or present or future. He's just there. He might be dead. Open to interpretation.

In my opinion, he's dead. Maybe he killed himself. Maybe his body gave up. Maybe his mind had mercy on him and shut that shit down.

Jacob thinks he's only passed out, and destined to keep living his same day every day forever to keep punishing himself.

Sierra hates it and wants him to go to the character Caroline and accept the fact she wants to be with him. I don't think that works.

The great part about the one scene with Caroline is that it's clear she likes him. But he's so far into depression and delusions that he can't see it. And she's only in one scene.

I don't know.
 
Last edited:
Another adventure in this cursed project.

Sierra and I and some of the crew decided to check out this abandoned house that's way the fuck off the map on a spot of the mountain where I live that doesn't even have a real trail up to it. We wanted to see what what there.

Well, as soon as we walked in, we heard scuttling sounds and whispers. There were McDonald's wrappers with lettuce in them that hadn't turned. There was a can of Coke still kind of cold. Some people are clearly squatting in there.

But we were freaked out. Most of the guys had their guns ready to go. I had Lucille and Sierra hidden behind me. We started asking for whomever was there to say something because we meant no harm.

We went to this extent it's the perfect place to shoot The Narrator's apartment scenes. It's got the mattress on the floor, the holes in the wall, the holes in the ceiling, the fridge that doesn't work anymore, the front door that doesn't actually shut, everything. We were a bit freaked out, but ready to talk.

No responses. But we heard shuffling around in the attic. Someone, or some people are in the attic. Like those horror stories you hear that people are hiding in your attic without you knowing. Or people living in hidden rooms in your house or in tunnels through your medicine cabinets. It was scary.

We made it clear we don't give a fuck who they are or what's going on. We just want to film some stuff in this house.

So we did some pratice shots in this house. I was fucking trembling and upon looking at the filming it seemed to kind of help.

When we left, we noticed there was actually an attic window. We all saw someone looking at us and then ducking down out of view.

This project is fucking cursed.

And yeah. I slept with Lucille next to the bed tonight. With every camera on and security light on. The sounds we heard in the attic sounded like people on all fours. It was not mice. Not rats. Not racoons. This was more than one person.

Creepy as fuck. Probably just homeless or fugitives trying to stay hidden. But still.
 
I probably could have been filming webisodes for years then.

There are three houses, the size of general 2 bedroom apartments but with stairs, on my section of this mountain. The guy who used to live in one of them ... was literally insane.

He had a gun collection. He would shoot off his AK-47 or whatever it was into the woods at 2am. He would set up firecracker lines that would pop off for 5 minutes. He would start up his truck at 3am and rev it up and just scream and scream and scream for an hour straight.

I had to become friends with him because one night, after an alcohol and video games binge at this place I worked at with a movie screen, I backed my car into the ravine and he towed me out of it, free of charge. Kind of. He "charged" me with insisting I hang out with him regularly. He had guns and knives and swords and gas masks and Nazi memorabilia and more and more.

One day, my landlord was doing some work on another house. I went over and talked to him - always a good idea to be on good terms with the landlord. And he told me this guy had been in the middle of the road leading to my home, and had been with his dog, and was stopping traffic and challenging people to "punch his dog" so that he could retaliate and beat them up. And it gets worse.

There was one day where 12, yes 12, police and 2 ambulances went to his house one day. A scuffle ensued. After a few hours, they all left, after a lot of yelling. I don't know what that was about.

He then let a friend move in with him. Turns out this friend had been in a shootout with police about a year earlier and was somehow let out of jail. And he took over the house.

One day, I came home and the cats were loose. I always keep the kitties confined to the bedroom with the porch door open during warm months or they'll destroy the house.

So when I heard about this guy, I realized he had gone through my house. I haven't much to steal, other than my collection of logs, but must don't know what the fuck they are. There were some herbs readily available, but they were all there. My tv was about 15 years old so I guess that didn't cut it. I don't know what he was looking for but I guess I didn't have it.

So the renter who had been there over 10 years left the place, but the other guy stayed and paid no rent. So my landlord, who is a badass, went up there and told the guy, look, I will pay you $500 to just leave, and I'll give you a ride to the airport, if we can just be done with this. And that was the end of it.

But now I've got "The Hills Have Eyes" people living close to me. And no one knows who owns the house! My landlord owns most of the property here but not that area. There's no fucking address on the house. The Post Office has never heard of it. This place looks like The Old Dark House from James Whale. It's a complete
anachronism and we found nothing online to suggest ownership. It's fucking creepy.

Why can't I have just a normal life?
 
EveryDayAmnesiac said:
I probably could have been filming webisodes for years then.

There are three houses, the size of general 2 bedroom apartments but with stairs, on my section of this mountain. The guy who used to live in one of them ... was literally insane.

He had a gun collection. He would shoot off his AK-47 or whatever it was into the woods at 2am. He would set up firecracker lines that would pop off for 5 minutes. He would start up his truck at 3am and rev it up and just scream and scream and scream for an hour straight.

I had to become friends with him because one night, after an alcohol and video games binge at this place I worked at with a movie screen, I backed my car into the ravine and he towed me out of it, free of charge. Kind of. He "charged" me with insisting I hang out with him regularly. He had guns and knives and swords and gas masks and Nazi memorabilia and more and more.

One day, my landlord was doing some work on another house. I went over and talked to him - always a good idea to be on good terms with the landlord. And he told me this guy had been in the middle of the road leading to my home, and had been with his dog, and was stopping traffic and challenging people to "punch his dog" so that he could retaliate and beat them up. And it gets worse.

There was one day where 12, yes 12, police and 2 ambulances went to his house one day. A scuffle ensued. After a few hours, they all left, after a lot of yelling. I don't know what that was about.

He then let a friend move in with him. Turns out this friend had been in a shootout with police about a year earlier and was somehow let out of jail. And he took over the house.

One day, I came home and the cats were loose. I always keep the kitties confined to the bedroom with the porch door open during warm months or they'll destroy the house.

So when I heard about this guy, I realized he had gone through my house. I haven't much to steal, other than my collection of logs, but must don't know what the fuck they are. There were some herbs readily available, but they were all there. My tv was about 15 years old so I guess that didn't cut it. I don't know what he was looking for but I guess I didn't have it.

So the renter who had been there over 10 years left the place, but the other guy stayed and paid no rent. So my landlord, who is a badass, went up there and told the guy, look, I will pay you $500 to just leave, and I'll give you a ride to the airport, if we can just be done with this. And that was the end of it.

But now I've got "The Hills Have Eyes" people living close to me. And no one knows who owns the house! My landlord owns most of the property here but not that area. There's no fucking address on the house. The Post Office has never heard of it. This place looks like The Old Dark House from James Whale. It's a complete
anachronism and we found nothing online to suggest ownership. It's fucking creepy.

Why can't I have just a normal life?
Click to expand...


Sounds like you need to do your own version of "All Gas, No Brakes"
Need some body armor and a helmet
 
Well the crew and I had a nice little sitdown tonight. Which included multiple storm outs, mostly by me.

It's the ending that is pissing everybody off. There's no agreement. It'll probably have to be the last thing we shoot because we all need to come to an agreement.

IMO, there is no happy ending for this Narrator. I feel like he's already dead, and he's just telling his story.

And then there are the impatient members of the crew. Like the make up artist. She's amazing. But there's nothing for her to do until we start filming with real cinema cameras. Her job is to make me look more and more physically sickly as the film goes on.

We considered the idea of putting out there the idea The Narrator is terminally ill, but that seemed like a cheat. If the viewer wants to think that, they're not wrong. If they want to think his mental instability is affecting his appearance, well they're not wrong either.

It's a fine line, balancing what should be explained and what shouldn't. Too much one way or the other, and you've ruined the story.

So I stormed out. And forgot my car keys. And had to walk back in. Like a fucking idiot.

And the idea of The Narrator ending up in some kind of embrace with Caroline kept coming back.

Carolne is based on a real person. She was going play Alison but then shit got fucked up and she moved away. She is an amazing person, could take any manner of joke and serve it right back to you. Other than Audrey, she's the best character in the story.

Not to stroke my own dick, but I actually write great female characters because I fucking listen to what they say and remember it. What a concept!

So the ending is still up in the air. At this point, nobody fucking knows.

Sierra is still insisting she play Audrey.
 
Oi. Big day today.

First, well, we decided the best way to show The Narrator is escaping from reality more and more gradually into Audrey's old short stories is to have the stories be animated in different styles. These three have kept this all to themselves and wouldn't let anyone see any of it - not even me.

Well we saw there rough draft works today. And no one knew what to say. It was amazing. Clearly based on my descriptions but taken to a whole other level. They are incredible visual artists. I don't know what the fuck they're doing working on this project.

Including Jacob, the director. His storyboards are so detailed that they're basically works of art on their own.

We all decided that if this project is a success, we will auction off all the storyboards and rough draft art and give whatever money we make to suicide prevention programs, considering the subject matter. These programs are dangerously underfunded.


We then took some time putting together a list of characteristics of what we're looking for in every actor we might hire, as I'm the only one officially "hired." Well, the first thing Sierra did was simply write her name under "Audrey" and left it at that. No one argued that one since no one wanted to die today.

One thing I noticed is that nearly every character in this film other than The Narrator is female. I never thought about that. Is it because I just want to be around a bunch of chicks, or do I actually want this to be a female-centric story from a male point of view? As a dude ... yeah, I don't know. I never thought about it. But there are very few males in this story.


We also discussed an alternate ending I wrote, where The Narrator ends up embracing Caroline. This was a big discussion.

We talked about how The Narrator is seeking forgiveness and redemption, sure. But what he really wants is to simply find someone who cares about him and to mother him. It doesn't have to be a lover. It could be, sure. But it could also be someone who simply wants to help him and wants what is best for him. So I did some tweeking and tinkering with some scenes in a different draft, and he and Caroline end up embracing in the epilogue shot.

It's open to interpretation. Maybe they end up together. Maybe she lets him spend the night on her couch. Maybe her act of kindness just gets him through one more night and he'll die tomorrow instead. I think it leaves too much up in the air, but the women on the crew love it. Nothing wrong with filming multiple endings and seeing what you've got.


Oh, and Sierra has written nearly 60 pages of Project #2 because Jacob and I are too fucking busy working on #1. I've read most of it. I've never read anything like it. It's in rough form, but ... considering she's never tried this before, I'm a bit intimidated.
 
I don't know where she finds the energy - maybe it's the 5 espressos she chugs for breakfast. :hmm:

As has been stated, Jacob and I are balls to the wall and ass to ankles busy with project #1. So other than advice and "man guidance" project #2 is pretty much all Sierra at this point.\, loosely based on something I wrote years ago. When we saw she had hit 300 pages, all of it from her point of view, we both told her she ... you know ... might want to reel it in. That went ... not well.

Welcome to the world of being a writer. Until, and even after, you're an established name, everyone is going to tell you how to improve even if they have no idea how to write. And early on, you'll probably see someone else's name on the credits of something you wrote. Fun Fun Fun in the Sun Sun Sun.

We wanted to go full on once the semester was over, but it's just not going to happen. We can film some stuff that's not practice, but not more than say 1/3 of what we need. We still haven't found an actress who can play the ex-wife part. Most everyone is fine with working for free and maybe making money if the movie is a hit, but the ex-wife character is a shit ton of work. We're not getting that one for free. And rightly so.

Anyway, I'm happy to report that Sierra has officially been "assigned" the role of Audrey in Project #1. She worked her cute little butt off for it, and she earned it, and she's right for it.

She interrupted a meeting of "The Inner Circle," which is me and Jacob and Brandon, and did not apologize, but just went straight into reading the lines. Us three guys are a sarcastic and talkative and criticising bunch. We had nothing to say when she was done.


So project #2 is a love story. It's not as dark as #1 and has some fun in it. As fun as a mental hospital love story can be. :thinker:

This is the song Sierra is insisting on:


 
Not that anyone gives two bloody diarrhea shits about this thread ...

Jacob And Sierra and I were looking for places to film on the university campus that would work.

Well, I'm in the lowest place of my bipolar stage, and I was in no mood for this shit.

So Jacob filmed me. He is a wizard with his phone. He framed and shot it in a way that made me look like the saddest "boi" in the whole wide world. Sitting there with people walking by me who didn't give two fucks. He told me it's the saddest scene he's ever shot.

This was not a practice scene. This was not me acting. This was me sitting alone while Jacob pretended to be on his phone and Sierra was making friends with this group of girls who all had dogs.

And yeah. I was fucking pissed off at first. Although when you walk out of your home, being filmed is perfectly legal.

But once I got over myself, and watched what he had filmed ... yeah ... I look like the saddest guy who's currently alive.

What he can do with a phone camera ... I don't even understand it.

So I had the unabomber look going. Hoodie, sunglasses, hat, beard. You would think that just sounds creepy.

But no. The crew and I watched it together and I look like a guy who knows it's his last day on Earth. AND I WASN'T EVEN TRYING!

Jacob said it was the most beautiful thing he's ever filmed. Sierra said it's the saddest thing she's ever seen.

I think it looks like a middle-aged loser who has given up and who knows he has nothing left to offer this world and wishes he would just die.

This is the song I was listening to:









I'm starting to feel as though sadness is not so much a curse, but more of a responsibility.
 
So ... it's been a bit of a party tonight. We have funding now to go on with project #1 and and also with project #2 based on what Jacob and Brandon were able to edit together. They know what the fuck they're doing.

We are trying to start filming now but the snow is on its way. This is not a goddamn Christmas tainted story. It's a "sad shit happens story." So we realistically can't shoot the main parts until spring.

But what got us off the ground was Sierra's voiceover of Audrey. She nailed it. She made the room and the zoom go into dead silence.

Sierra is possibly the most beautiful creature put on this planet.

And whe have it checked out. We can get the rights to Serge Gainsbourg. Roky Erikson. Elizabeth Cotten. Sparklehorse. Leona Anderson. The Real Tuesday Weld. Even THE FUCKING PIXIES!

We have about 70 more songs to clear, but it's a start.

Because our budget has doubled because of Jacob and Brandon Frankensteining some videos together.

And yet, frat boys jogging around in their short shorts think that Sierra would rather "trade up" for a guy who ... jogs a lot. Good luck with that, guys.

Her voice as Audrey made everyone unable to speak.

And now I have to go play "daddy" and make sure everyone is okay. I hate being the old one of the group.




 
"Yes, the rigors of entertaining a bunch of millennial females warrants a collective pause for reflection of the dire situation in which you are trapped"

You could not have possibly made that any more wordier. Or annoying.


In which I complain within my sad little dark personal universe, the universe I always yearned for, I have learned much. From Master Yoda. No, wait. Not Master Yoda. But from my own penis that belongs only to me. And also a Saudi Arabian man who now owns me and reigns over my butthole until it hits 2030. Or until I die. Whichever comes first.

My point being ... well ...

It's like the ancient Persian saying says ... Every man is free to jump as high as his own penis. I think all of you understand.

Right now, I've got enough testosterone to kill a man in his 40s. It's a good thing I'm only in my ... uh ... 20s. Well, 30s. Maybe 40s. 20s. Like you would even know. I'm as young as I ever was.

@momofthegoons You know what I'm talking about.
 
Dude ... you really need to learn how to take a joke and send it back.
 
EveryDayAmnesiac said:
Dude ... you really need to learn how to take a joke and send it back.
Click to expand...

Its not being able to take a joke but lack of emoji use
The statement I made seems sullen when an emoji winking would convey that I get it
It is perfectly ok to call it wordy and annoying because its the truth
When being snarky like I was the tightrope you walk is offending folks so I was unsure of how you would react
And I think I'm speaking for a good chunk of the heterosexual male and lesbian communities when I tell you how jealous and resentful I am of your current situation

It may not seem like I can take it but I assure I can
Wordy and annoying are compliments in the hellscape that is the internet
 
You are officially invited to the Nightmare Alley party.

At the King's (my) table. Front seat. Only maybe 7 or 8 seats away from Sierra. With only who knows how many frat boys away from her. This is good for you. Word has it she is going to dress up as Baroness. I've seen her working away on it.

Mmm. Goddamn.
 
Been a bit since an update.

Because of most of the crew going back home for winter break, Jacob and Brandon and Sierra and I have been rethinking aspects of the story.

So we decided that The Narrator finding Audrey's body is the most important part, that maybe we should see flashes of it so that you can feel a sense of doom on the way. Maybe two seconds worth every 10 minutes or so and immediately after the opening scene that you know there's a reason this guy is lost and confused and has no reason left to live.

It has been officially decided that he and Audrey end up together. Not in a happy way.

Depending on the weather, we hope to start true filming in February.

My pasty face tends to look better in the winter. It's still weird to see myself on camera. And how fucking sad I look.

And we found a woman to play his ex-wife. She's all in. Lives 8 hours away, but she adores the character and how "meaty" the part is. She's the character who really wraps the story together. And also basically tells him to fuck off with his bullshit. The last straw for him.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Sponsored by
VGoodiez 420EDC
Back
Top