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You know, I wish we had this product available locally to get people's attention.
I work at a laundromat - I'm actually the assistant manager, because, you know, I'm such a go-getter - and I'll tell you, most people need to be told there's this new invention called toilet paper!!!
First of all, it does a remarkable job at removing fecal remnants from the anus.
Secondly, it does a fantastic job at preventing goddamn poop stains on your goddamn underpants.
I'm not sure why people aren't embarrassed to drop off their shit-stained briefs and panties for anyone to see. Nor am I sure how they can have no shame and not leave a tip for my trouble and the psychological scars. Plus I no longer want to see a lady's underwear - it's a real shame.
My advice? Wipe properly. Then use baby wipes. Then take a wad of tissue, jam it up in there, then go about your day.
That would have been nice. I still feel sorry for my coworker that stood waiting today. I even did a courtesy flush, but I'm afraid the damage had already been done by that time.
At least you didn't get shitcanned for it:
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