'Patient Grills Doctor; Off the Record'
Good to see you again. It’s been a while. You’re here because your employer wants you to get tested?
That’s right, Doctor. It’s more or less an order. If I don’t comply, I can’t work for the company. I lose my job.
And you don’t want to get tested?
I have problems with the test.
What problems?
The number of cycles.
Excuse me?
Doctor, you’re aware they run the PCR test in cycles?
Sorry, never heard of that. What are you talking about?
Well, they take a swab sample from me. Then they amplify a tiny, tiny part of the sample many times. That’s what the test does. Each leap in amplification is called a cycle.
Fascinating.
The number of cycles determines the outcome. If they run the test at 36 cycles or higher, the result is meaningless. But at those high levels, there are many, many false positives. So I could easily register as “infected by the virus,” if the lab uses too many cycles.
Where are you getting all this information?
From a number of sources.
Name one.
Anthony Fauci.
Really?
Yes, Doctor. Let me read you a statement he made. July 16, 2020. “…If you get [perform the test at] a cycle threshold of 35 or more…the chances of it being replication-competent [aka accurate] are miniscule…you almost never can culture virus [detect a true positive result] from a 37 threshold cycle…even 36…”
Hmm. And how many of these cycles are labs using when they run the test?
The FDA and the CDC recommend up to 40 cycles, to look for evidence of the virus.
You’re sure you’re not overthinking all this?
No, Doctor, I’m not. It’s very straightforward.
The reason I ask—if what you’re saying is true, then millions of people have been wrongly diagnosed with COVID-19. Do you realize that?
I do. But right now, I’m worried about what’s going to happen to me if I take the test.
I’m not sure what you want me to do.
Well, I was hoping to get a note from you saying that I shouldn’t take the test. That there is a good chance of a false positive result.
I couldn’t do that.
Why not?
Because I would be making a blanket statement against the test, by implication.
And then?
The state medical board could yank my license to practice medicine.
Does the truth matter? Do facts matter?
Let me be frank. I think you’re misinterpreting what you’ve been reading.
Why do you say that?
Because if you’re right, the medical experts would all be wrong. And I don’t think they are. The test is valid.
How do you know?
Because they wouldn’t make such a gigantic mistake.
People do make mistakes. Even experts. Would you like to see my documentation?
That’s not necessary. You might be caught up in medical disinformation. It’s rampant these days. You should follow the guidelines. Go ahead, take the test. That would be my recommendation.
If the result is a false positive, I’d have to self-isolate for a week or two. Other people would have to move out of my home. They would have to get tested, too. And if I come down with a cough, or chills and fever, there would be a lot of pressure on me to get treated. You know, with toxic drugs, like remdesivir. When, actually, all I have is a common cold.
You’re jumping to all sorts of conclusions. I think you should speak with a COVID counselor. And maybe, a short course of therapy would help, too.
You mean psychological therapy?
I could refer you to a good person.
You think I’m a little nuts?
Just off-kilter. It happens. People with uninformed opinions can be persuasive. Perhaps you’re “under their influence.”
Or maybe you are, Doctor. Many so-called experts are uninformed.
I resent that. I spend every day helping people to the best of my ability. It’s not easy these days, believe me. I use every bit of my knowledge and experience to make a difference.
Well, then, you know how I feel when you suggest I’ve become mentally unbalanced.
There’s a difference. I’m offering a professional opinion. In this area, you’re not a professional.
I’m offering to show you evidence, documents. You don’t want to look at them. They might upset your apple cart.
They won’t.
How do you know?
Because I follow the highest authorities. The FDA, the CDC, the World Health Organization. I’m on very solid scientific and legal ground.
Legal ground? Are you suggesting I might sue you? Rest assured, I would never waste my time and energy. You’re golden. You’re protected. But that doesn’t mean you have your facts right.
You know, your wife and sister called the office. They said they want me to talk you out of your misguided opinions. They’re worried about you.
Here’s something else you can add to my pile of ideas. Testing labs never tell the patient or the doctor how many cycles they’re using in the PCR test. You can check with your staff. You won’t find that number on any of the lab reports.
We use an excellent lab. I don’t have any doubts about their work.
So you’ve got things buttoned up. You’re perfect.
I’m sad to say this is our last appointment. I won’t be seeing you anymore as a patient. When you find a new physician, let our office know, and we’ll forward your medical files to him or her.
Very good, Doctor. You pass.
What…? What are you talking about?
I’m now working as a contact tracer. I was asked to come in and ask you some questions and feel you out on the testing issue. The state medical board received a complaint from one of your patients, a John Jones.
I WAS CLEARED BY THE BOARD ON THAT MATTER MONTHS AGO. Mr. Jones came to my house at 4AM on a Sunday morning. He was hysterical. He’d heard that while he’d been sitting in my waiting room one afternoon, there was another patient there who subsequently tested positive for the virus. Mr. Jones was afraid he might have caught COVID from that patient. But you see, that other patient never tested positive. It was all a rumor. And my wife and I were out of town the weekend Mr. Jones came to my house. We were out of cell phone range. My service should have picked up his call, but for some reason they didn’t.
Yes, Doctor, we know all that. Nevertheless, we wanted to check up on you. Just to make sure.
I don’t appreciate this. We’re not living in a police state.
Actually, in some respects, we are. It’s necessary.
All that information you’ve just been feeding me about the test, the cycles, Fauci, the labs, and so on—
It’s all true. But we have to ignore it.
WHAT?
This is a State of Emergency. And in this situation, we need to follow orders. If we don’t, the whole system falls apart, and we’d be swimming in chaos.
What??
Don’t worry, Doctor. As I said, you’re golden. You’re protected. Unless you’re upset by what I just confided to you.
No…no…I’m fine. I was shocked to find out you’re operating undercover, so to speak. Since you’ve been a patient of mine.
I understand. All you need to do is stay on the straight and narrow. You back us up, we back you up.
Of course…thank you.
No problem. I’ll be going now. We’re all in the new normal these days. You never know who’s going to walk in your door. If you ever feel you’re experiencing onset symptoms of paranoia, I suggest you see a psychiatrist. I could recommend a very good man..
@I'm Ron Burgundy?
