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Lunacy Jokes
- Thread starter Reflections
- Start date
Got one that's personal! This really happened and I didn't even get thrown out of the Library... was only answered by the entire place laughing!
So, I just converted from Blackberry to Android.
Then I discovered "OK Google....", where you verbally command Google to do something for you.
You may think this lazy, but I really miss the physical keyboard of my blackberry, so I verbalize everything I can... Text messages, emails, forum updates (Yeah, I know I've been MIA for a long time now...) and traffic.
I thought I was talking quite quietly when I said "OK Google, how's the weather?". I was wearing a headset at the time, so thought this would be a private conversation between me and my phone... Also, wanted to ensure it wasn't raining before packing up everyone and driving home.
Can you imagine my horror/shock/surprise when not only my phone, but multitudes of other phones responded back in their own special way?
I sat, jaw-dropped, waiting to have tomatoes thrown at me. Instead, the whole place just started laughing.
Regardless, the end result was the same...
So, I just converted from Blackberry to Android.
Then I discovered "OK Google....", where you verbally command Google to do something for you.
You may think this lazy, but I really miss the physical keyboard of my blackberry, so I verbalize everything I can... Text messages, emails, forum updates (Yeah, I know I've been MIA for a long time now...) and traffic.
I thought I was talking quite quietly when I said "OK Google, how's the weather?". I was wearing a headset at the time, so thought this would be a private conversation between me and my phone... Also, wanted to ensure it wasn't raining before packing up everyone and driving home.
Can you imagine my horror/shock/surprise when not only my phone, but multitudes of other phones responded back in their own special way?
I sat, jaw-dropped, waiting to have tomatoes thrown at me. Instead, the whole place just started laughing.
Regardless, the end result was the same...
Omg how funny! I can only imagine how embarrassed you were! But also how funny it was....
I wonder why it did that though. You would think it a command would only work for your phone.
I was laughing too, but wifey said she couldn't distinguish me from a tomato at the time!
Seems the phones are set to activate upon hearing "OK Google....", regardless of whose voice utters those fateful words.I wonder why it did that though. You would think it a command would only work for your phone.
From today forward, I propose we call this The DDave Phone Bomb (in relation to a photo bomb where you jump into another's picture they are in progress of taking and pose).... however, I see things like the following as scenarios....
I'll be sitting in a movie theater, sad movie - sad scene playing, and I'll stand up in a loud voice and utter....
"OK Google, tell me a joke"
Then proceed to quickly bail out the back door!
grokit
Well-Known Member
Me: What's the wifi password?
Bartender: You need to buy a drink first.
Me: Okay, I'll have a coke.
Bartender: Is Pepsi okay?
Me: Sure. How much is that?
Bartender: $3.
Me: There you go. So what's the wifi password?
Bartender: You need to buy a drink first. No spaces, all lowercase.
Bartender: You need to buy a drink first.
Me: Okay, I'll have a coke.
Bartender: Is Pepsi okay?
Me: Sure. How much is that?
Bartender: $3.
Me: There you go. So what's the wifi password?
Bartender: You need to buy a drink first. No spaces, all lowercase.
GreenHopper
20 going on 60
I was at my bank today; there was a short line, just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady.
It was obvious she was more than just a little irritated, she was trying to exchange yen for dollars.
She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?"
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations".
The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!"
It was obvious she was more than just a little irritated, she was trying to exchange yen for dollars.
She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?"
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations".
The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!"
A woman tried to board a bus but her skirt was so tight that she couldn't make the step up.
So she reached behind her, lowered her zip and tried again. Still the skirt was too tight. So again she reached behind her, lowered her zip a little more and tried to negotiate the step. But still the skirt was too tight.
Determined to catch this bus, she once more reached behind her, lowered the zip a little and attempted to climb aboard. Then suddenly she felt two hands on her butt, helping her on to the bus.
She turned around angrily and told the man behind her: "Sir, I don't know you' well enough for you to behave in such a manner."
The man replied: "Lady, I don't know you well enough for you to unzip my fly three times either!"
So she reached behind her, lowered her zip and tried again. Still the skirt was too tight. So again she reached behind her, lowered her zip a little more and tried to negotiate the step. But still the skirt was too tight.
Determined to catch this bus, she once more reached behind her, lowered the zip a little and attempted to climb aboard. Then suddenly she felt two hands on her butt, helping her on to the bus.
She turned around angrily and told the man behind her: "Sir, I don't know you' well enough for you to behave in such a manner."
The man replied: "Lady, I don't know you well enough for you to unzip my fly three times either!"
Dynalowrider
Member
Groan...
UN~YAH
Dazed and Confused
An Engineer dies and goes to Hell. Dissatisfied with the level of comfort, he starts designing and building improvements. After a while, Hell has air conditioning, iced water, flush toilets, and escalators, and the Engineer is a pretty popular guy.
One day God calls and asks Satan, "So, how are things going down there?"
Satan says, “Why, things are going great. We've now got air conditioning, iced water, flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this Engineer is going to come up with next!"
God is horrified. "What? You've got an Engineer? That's clearly a mistake – he should never have gone down there! You know all Engineers go to Heaven. Send him up here immediately!!"
Satan says, "No way, I really like having an Engineer on the staff. I’m keeping him."
God says, “Send him back up here or I'll sue you."
"Yeah, right," Satan laughs, "and where are you going to get a lawyer?”
One day God calls and asks Satan, "So, how are things going down there?"
Satan says, “Why, things are going great. We've now got air conditioning, iced water, flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this Engineer is going to come up with next!"
God is horrified. "What? You've got an Engineer? That's clearly a mistake – he should never have gone down there! You know all Engineers go to Heaven. Send him up here immediately!!"
Satan says, "No way, I really like having an Engineer on the staff. I’m keeping him."
God says, “Send him back up here or I'll sue you."
"Yeah, right," Satan laughs, "and where are you going to get a lawyer?”
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