just_tHe_fLu
they say im crazy but i have a good time
..."yet" being the key words... we all know a few right?
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So I guess I'm a legend at this restaurant I used to work at for saying this:
It's a combination of Arrested Development and Anchorman 2 and uh.... me. Unfortunately, it's recorded.
"Now come the fuck on, guys! Seriously! This is serious! This is not a bunch of dudes playing grab-ass in the shower! This is a business! And while we're at it, life is NOT gumdrops and lollipops and playing Candyland! Or snorting a rail of coke and then taking a 3-hour dump! This is a business! We're all wearing the logo of ... whatever this fucking company is. Is this ... what is this, a brewery or a pizza ... thing or whatever? I'm so fucking high right now that I don't even fucking know. So this calls for true leadership. Allen, I need you to go out to your car and smoke pot and then act like no one knows what you were doing out there. Neff, I need you to drop 20 pieces of fried chicken and bring me the best three - throw the rest away. Paige, I need you to keep an eye on Neff and make sure he doesn't fuck this shit up. Sweet Mary, I need you to continue standing there and looking pretty - nobody does it better. And goddamn you look fucking hot today. Stephanie, go ahead and keep on going out of your way to avoid eye contact with me - it really helps my confidence. If you're bored, get a flashlight and a can of bugspray and see what you can accomplish. Jared, I need you to stand outside the bathroom door while I chug a piping hot jug of fresh and frothy horse piss. That's the best time to drink it. Let's go, people! This is when heroes are born!"
I was really high at the time. And I was pretty much the same age at the time.
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