Sponsored by

Dynavap VGoodiez 420EDC Dispensr
  • Welcome to VaporAsylum! Please take a moment to read our RULES and introduce yourself here.
  • Need help navigating the forum? Find out how to use our features here.
  • Did you know we have lots of smilies for you to use?

The Relationship Thread - That Thread About Relationships

Status
Not open for further replies.

EveryDayAmnesiac

Let's go prune some power lines.
So, my new lady friend does something disgusting. And apparantly it's a thing.

When she has to blow her nose and she's in the shower ... she just blows it out right down the drain.

That's fucking gross.

On the other hand, she listened to every song I chose for my screenplay that will never be made - and sang her own version of one track. I didn't know she could sing. And she continues to sit with my blind cat while she drinks her tea. He's in love with her.

This song, I had it planned for the climax of the movie. It's quite a sad story. I don't know where my sadness comes from. Other than my best friend killing herself when I was 17 and my inability to remember the next two years. There are hurts that don't go away. Ever.





So ... keeper?

Bear in mind ... she's crazy hot. Out of my league hot. But I guess "the way I talk to her" is different from the other guys. And I have my pimp ride.

"Hey, where did you two meet?"

When we were both involuntarily committed.

... Oh.

:idon'tknow:
 

Tincandtoke

Denny Crane!
So, my new lady friend does something disgusting. And apparantly it's a thing.

When she has to blow her nose and she's in the shower ... she just blows it out right down the drain.

That's fucking gross.

On the other hand, she listened to every song I chose for my screenplay that will never be made - and sang her own version of one track. I didn't know she could sing. And she continues to sit with my blind cat while she drinks her tea. He's in love with her.

This song, I had it planned for the climax of the movie. It's quite a sad story. I don't know where my sadness comes from. Other than my best friend killing herself when I was 17 and my inability to remember the next two years. There are hurts that don't go away. Ever.





So ... keeper?

Bear in mind ... she's crazy hot. Out of my league hot. But I guess "the way I talk to her" is different from the other guys. And I have my pimp ride.

"Hey, where did you two meet?"

When we were both involuntarily committed.

... Oh.

:idon'tknow:


You need to circulate in some circles and show your skills
Money cannot buy what you have, unless it hires someone else to try to do what you do
And that turns out all processed subway tuna sub (referencing the subway tuna sub postings)
A bit stoned, hope that comes across as the compliment it was meant to be

Edit:wow not even close to being on topic
Better have another hit to be sure
 

arb

Semi shaved ape
You need to circulate in some circles and show your skills
Money cannot buy what you have, unless it hires someone else to try to do what you do
And that turns out all processed subway tuna sub (referencing the subway tuna sub postings)
A bit stoned, hope that comes across as the compliment it was meant to be

Edit:wow not even close to being on topic
Better have another hit to be sure
You can tuna sub but can your tuna fish?
 

EveryDayAmnesiac

Let's go prune some power lines.
So, my lady friend has decided I'm not doing enough work "down there."

I've been avoiding doing any work "down there" specifically becasue I don't know what I'm doing "down there." I don't know what the fuck I"m doing.

I've read all the google tips. Not very helpful.

I could use some real world advice. Cause I'm getting nothing. :rip:
 

arb

Semi shaved ape
So, my lady friend has decided I'm not doing enough work "down there."

I've been avoiding doing any work "down there" specifically becasue I don't know what I'm doing "down there." I don't know what the fuck I"m doing.

I've read all the google tips. Not very helpful.

I could use some real world advice. Cause I'm getting nothing. :rip:
Ok I am stoopid enough to ask........by "down there" are you referring to your own lack of grooming or are you referring to your job performance?
Purely out of curiosity absolutely no pictures required.
:popcorn:
 

Squiby

Cool Kitty
Staff member
1629319449605.png
 

CarolKing

Always in search of the perfect vaporizer
1629322814085.png

Thanks, for helping with that @Squiby. Was having a hard time getting the pic to show.

i thought of something - hope not too risqué My husband and I would playfully bet each other (when we were first together) oral sex. Like something stupid - like how much something cost or a date when something happened or maybe the name of a movie. Whoever won would reciprocat. I must be really wasted. Who says weed ruins brain cells. Probably too much info, kinda funny that popped in my head.
 
Last edited:

EveryDayAmnesiac

Let's go prune some power lines.
Yep. It's about the oral.

On the other hand, I was just driving through the university campus - something I have to do to get to the gas station and Post Office and Recycling Center and ice cream shop ... no perving ... not that I mind the drive ... good lord ...

Anyway, there I am, driving a 10 year old Honda Fit, three missing hubcaps, multiple dents, and now a garbage bag window. Blaring Dr. Hook. And from a group of girls, the nerdy one yells, "Your car is sexy!" Followed by a cacophony of girly giggles.

Hey. I'll take it. Especially since it pissed my lady friend off. :rofl:

Damn good strawberry ice cream.
 

arb

Semi shaved ape
Yep. It's about the oral.

On the other hand, I was just driving through the university campus - something I have to do to get to the gas station and Post Office and Recycling Center and ice cream shop ... no perving ... not that I mind the drive ... good lord ...

Anyway, there I am, driving a 10 year old Honda Fit, three missing hubcaps, multiple dents, and now a garbage bag window. Blaring Dr. Hook. And from a group of girls, the nerdy one yells, "Your car is sexy!" Followed by a cacophony of girly giggles.

Hey. I'll take it. Especially since it pissed my lady friend off. :rofl:

Damn good strawberry ice cream.
Pity..........trim jobs easier to learn,good lick!
 

EveryDayAmnesiac

Let's go prune some power lines.
So, ol' EDA made a boo boo. A no no. A ... whatever the fuck.

So my lady friend posts videos online of herself. Nothing big time. Approximately 5,000 views. It was closer to 4,000 before I started helping her with her material. Not to pat myself on the back or anything. :ko:

I should say, there is a significant age difference between us. Sometimes, that's fun. Other times, it's just stressful. And don't judge. The whole relationship is her doing. She slipped me her phone number in the psych ward. She blew up my phone. Think I'm going to say no to that? Not in this world.

So I've been scrolling through the comments on her posts, and I came to realize something. Pretty much all of her views are dirty pervy horny old men who just want to look at a pretty girl.

So we had a bit of a row, and I can't believe I said this, but I said, "Do you know that pretty much all your views are dirty pervy old men who just want to look at a pretty girl?"

Believe it or not - it was the wrong thing to say.

She whirls around ... you know the type of whirl. The kind where you're surprised a tornado didn't join the party. With the whole neck thing. It was terrifying.

Her response? Well, after making The Exorcist face, was,"Oh, you mean guys like you???!!!"

At that point ... I chose to shut my big fat mouth.

I can't believe how terrifed I am of this girl. She's barely 5'0 and about 95 pounds soaking wet, yet I'm mortified of her.

Now I'm in the deepest darkest corner of the dog house. I asked her if she wanted to leave and she said no. She just sits there glaring at me every time I walk by. So I guess she wants to be mad at me in person.

I even made homemade pizza and that didn't help. She ate it silently. I even put extra mushrooms on it! :cry:
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Sponsored by

Dynavap VGoodiez 420EDC Dispensr
Top