So, for one full hour every night, lady friend and I shut down all social media and turn off the TV and drink our tea and have an actual conversation with no distractions.
So the topic of race came up.
She's the type of young person who thinks it's perfectly fine to discuss race as long as it's respectful and honest and not too serious. A refreshing change. Most of the young people around here immediately label you a racist if you bring up the topic. That's so fucking stupid.
As I've mentioned, I am Mr. Pasty White Ass White Guy. She is of mixed race. So we've been talking about the differences we have had growing up and different life experiences.
One thing we looked at that was interesting was the different places we've lived. We did a little research, looked up some numbers and we saw that of all the different places I've lived in this country, the population was predominantly white or fully white. That was not a conscious decision and I never would have noticed it. And she is the same way - everywhere she has lived, the white population was minimal until Western Rural North Carolina.
So we started talking about human nature - and how many, perhaps most, simply feel more comfortable around their same race because it makes them feel "safer." Yeah, crunch some numbers and you'll see that's total bullshit, but it's what people do.
We continued the discussion and admitted we didn't know a whole lot about each other's races. In fact, I realized that when people used to call me the whitest white guy they ever met - which I used to shrug off and not take seriously - actually has a whole lot of truth to it. I've been living under a white guy "umbrella" pretty much my whole life. And I have much to learn and experience.
But it cuts both ways. One of the first things she said to me when we were in the hospital was, and maybe not phrased the most politically correctly, "Yeah, I don't really know shit about all you white people. Y'all seem totally uptight."
So we've been introducing each other to stuff we like. For example, she didn't know who Radiohead was. No idea.
"How do you not know who Radiohead is? How do you not know that?"
"I don't know, dude, but I don't. But I know that name is on your hat. I didn't know it was a band."
To be fair, while Radiohead are a genius and iconic band ... their audience is mostly white.
Now she cranks them up in the car when it's her turn to play something. And I'm putting on Billie Holiday. Of course I knew who she was but I couldn't have told you the name of any of her songs other than Sinnerman.
So at the end of the discussion, my dumb ass says, "So you're sure you're okay with dating a plain old vanilla boring ass white guy?"
She looks at me like I'm a complete idiot. Then drops one of those youth wisdom bombs on me. "Why would I care what color you are? Why would you even ask me that?"
There is still racism running rampant in this country, but we're going to get there. Some of these young people are WAY ahead of the curve.
Amazing what a little exposure to other races can do to one's maturity level and understanding.